Eve Turns 50

This week Eve turned 50.

And I?...I sent her a card.

That's it, just a card. I did email her to let her know the card would be late. What I didn't tell her was that it was late because I kept struggling with whether or not to get her a present. I was trying to remember if I've ever gotten a present from Eve. Maybe if she had me in the holiday grabbag we used to organize until JSister and I couldn't stand handling all the issues around it anymore. (another story...another day)

I honestly don't think I ever got anything from her. I'm the youngest sister, so I would think I might remember getting more items because she would have been grown and working and on her own while I was still making minimum wage in an after school job. But...nada...at least in my recollection. Not for Sweet 16, not for 21, not for college graduation, not for 30, not for 40.

Anyway, that isn't what gift giving is supposed to be about. But as I tried to come up with the answer of whether (and what) to give, this thought kept recurring. That and remembering how Eve and L-Z-Boy have sent out notices the last few Christmases that they will NOT be buying gifts for anyone (I couldn't remember this being a new practice?) because they were strapped for cash. Well damn, I get that. But then I would hear that L-Z-Boy bought a new motorcycle for himself, and Eve bought an i-Pod for herself.

Now truly - they didn't have the money. They have refinanced their house so many times that they probably still have a 30-year mortgage after living in the house for 15 years. They've even re-financed their van several times. I didn't even know you could do that...I mean isn't a car a depreciating asset? How can you get money from that?

I just found it astonishing that while they couldn't stretch their funds to buy for others, they could for themselves. Given their highly religious positioning as born-again Christians I found this to be a continuation of their hypocrisy. Are you supposed to give to others first?

I honestly don't want a present from her. I'd rather have the gift of enjoying giving to her. I'd rather feel like it doesn't matter that she can't afford to buy something new, and have the joy of giving her something new because I can.

Cuz truly, there is nothing like seeing someone's face light up when you've given them something they love. Small, large, cheap, expensive, hard to get, easy to get, one in a million, one of a million...just as long as it is something that brings them joy.

So this year, on Eve's 50th birthday, I sent a card.

And this year, on Christmas, I'll send another card.

Because I can't think of anything that would bring her joy. And that makes ME sad.

Home for the Holidays

Have you ever seen Home for the Holidays with Holly Hunter (good lord that is a lot of H's)? That never happens in my life. But in my head, that is every holiday I've ever had or ever will have. Truly. It is not bad in real life. But because I have this dread and perception of holidays in my head...it's happening within me, even when all is ok in the real world. Screwy right? Right.

Anyway, I was just on Blue Bamboo, and saw that she had posted about her holiday plans. Travel on Command with MIL, FIL, GMIL, etc. Travel on command because the plans were made and she and her husband and kids were told to get the time off and get on board. I'm assuming this means a paid holiday...and all the natural encumbrances that come with that.

A few years ago, Mom and Bud decided they wanted to go to Hawaii along with Eve, J-sister and their families. We were ENCOURAGED to participate. We refused. We claimed poverty and work issues, but were honest with J-Sister that there was no way in hell we were up for travel trapped with Bud, Mom, Eve and her husband...we'll call him La-Z-Boy since he wasn't in our original cast at right.

And boy were we right. In the course of the vacation, Mom got stuck in an elevator and had a panic attack and La-Z-Boy decided to go off his anti-depressants. Can you imagine Hawaii being turned into a walking insane asylum?

Kip and I are coming up on our 20th anniversary. For our 10th we went to Hawaii - on our own - and I'd love to go back. But no way no how will it be in the company of these crazy people. Luckily the economy will likely keep all of us safely in our own homes.

So then, all I need to sweat about is the "Home for the Holidays' nightmares.