Eve Turns 50

This week Eve turned 50.

And I?...I sent her a card.

That's it, just a card. I did email her to let her know the card would be late. What I didn't tell her was that it was late because I kept struggling with whether or not to get her a present. I was trying to remember if I've ever gotten a present from Eve. Maybe if she had me in the holiday grabbag we used to organize until JSister and I couldn't stand handling all the issues around it anymore. (another story...another day)

I honestly don't think I ever got anything from her. I'm the youngest sister, so I would think I might remember getting more items because she would have been grown and working and on her own while I was still making minimum wage in an after school job. But...nada...at least in my recollection. Not for Sweet 16, not for 21, not for college graduation, not for 30, not for 40.

Anyway, that isn't what gift giving is supposed to be about. But as I tried to come up with the answer of whether (and what) to give, this thought kept recurring. That and remembering how Eve and L-Z-Boy have sent out notices the last few Christmases that they will NOT be buying gifts for anyone (I couldn't remember this being a new practice?) because they were strapped for cash. Well damn, I get that. But then I would hear that L-Z-Boy bought a new motorcycle for himself, and Eve bought an i-Pod for herself.

Now truly - they didn't have the money. They have refinanced their house so many times that they probably still have a 30-year mortgage after living in the house for 15 years. They've even re-financed their van several times. I didn't even know you could do that...I mean isn't a car a depreciating asset? How can you get money from that?

I just found it astonishing that while they couldn't stretch their funds to buy for others, they could for themselves. Given their highly religious positioning as born-again Christians I found this to be a continuation of their hypocrisy. Are you supposed to give to others first?

I honestly don't want a present from her. I'd rather have the gift of enjoying giving to her. I'd rather feel like it doesn't matter that she can't afford to buy something new, and have the joy of giving her something new because I can.

Cuz truly, there is nothing like seeing someone's face light up when you've given them something they love. Small, large, cheap, expensive, hard to get, easy to get, one in a million, one of a million...just as long as it is something that brings them joy.

So this year, on Eve's 50th birthday, I sent a card.

And this year, on Christmas, I'll send another card.

Because I can't think of anything that would bring her joy. And that makes ME sad.