Scrooge Has Nothing on Me

Tis the season to be miserable.

Who was the moron that decided to put three major holidays within 4 weeks of one another? Don't they know we need time to recover in between? Don't they know it is too much family for anyone to take? Don't they know that our wallets are aching? What on earth were they thinking???

I hate - H.A.T.E. - this time of year. The days get shorter and daylight fades. It gets cold and dreary. The end of year pressures build at work. And, to top it all off, the peer and family pressures are, well, pressuring for celebration, gifts, travel, commitments, etc.

I used to love the holidays. And I used to love to give gifts and celebrate with family. But now it always seems so tough. I wish I was organized enough to buy a gift when I see it and am inspired and put it away for the holidays. Instead, I do a 1 or 2-day marathon shop and end up buying stuff, just to buy stuff. I don't know if the gift I get is wanted or needed, and lately I've been copping out by getting gift certificates or sending checks. I feel like I'm buying the holiday off.

Decorating my house is another sore subject. The idea of spending a weekend climbing up on my roof and gutters to attach lights that will have to come down a month later (when it is even colder and darker out) seems ludicrous. And the tree thing? I used to love the tree. Now it seems like such an effort, and I need to move furniture around, sweep up needles, unpack ornaments, and then undo it all again a few short days later. I mean, really, who has the energy?

I'm trying to remember when the holiday season became more of an obligation than a joy. I guess it happens right after you stop being a kid and have to be an adult. As a kid it's the time when you get presents (but don't have to give them), you stay up late and eat fattening foods (but aren't worried about being tired or fat), you go to many parties (but never have to figure out which ones or how to gracefully refuse that pressing invitation to great-aunt what's her face).

I started getting pressure in August from Mom about where we would be for holidays, what was the menu for Thanksgiving, could we take time off around Christmas, etc. etc. etc. My in-laws (thank god) are much more low-key and just say, "We'll see you when..." which is a relief, but also puts the onus back on us to plan something each time as well. Christmas and New Years mid-week is always an extra pain in the neck as well - Technically we only have the Thursday off - so that means we have to plan - do we take off Monday to Wednesday and go back to work on Friday? Take Friday and have to travel on Christmas and New Year's Eve? Family will be in town before Christmas but not after - so if you want to see them this is the time, but since you have to take a week off in January for your niece's Bat Mitzvah, taking extra time at holidays is a problem...and on and on and on.

I wish I could garner up the emotional wherewithal to love this holiday season again and be all "It's a wonderful life" but I just haven't got it in me anymore. I really want to be a turtle and pull all my limbs and my head into the shell until it's all over.

So if you come by my place between Thanksgiving and New Years, rest assured, you will be warmly greeted and will enjoy wonderful company, and good food and drink (which we have year round!), but don't count on a kick-ass gift (and don't give me one, I still have most of them from last year unused and unspent), lights, a tree, or mistletoe.

So. Bah Humbug and stuff.

With Love and Little Malice,
W-Sister